Training for the apocalypse: Week 0

The Muscle-Up

So, for better or for worse (only time will tell) I have volunteered to be the guinea pig for my fellow FYMP master, Move Matt.

This will not be a tale of dramatic triumph over adversity or obesity – this isn’t The Biggest Loser.

No.  I’m a 30+ year old who has been a decent athlete all his life.  Fitness, for me, was rarely a stated goal and mostly a way of being.  I played fun sports like tennis and basketball, or had cool competitions (2 Tough Mudders, a tri-sprint, and a Big Sur marathon) to train for to keep me motivated.  Fitness just well, …HAPPENED.

In recent months, if not years, I’ve realized that without these goals, fitness has occurred more as a chore than as a side-effect of daily life. While I have many “excuses” like new responsibilities at work, two young kids, a wife, and a myriad of other reasons for not integrating fitness into my life – they all fall rather flat.  In short, my current fitness is not very FYMP.

What happens when I’m being chased by meth-enhanced criminals who have nothing but burying their brass knuckles into my chest and skull on their minds?  How fast am I going to be? How quickly and smoothly am I going to vault over/under obstacles?  Right now, there’s probably a 50/50 shot that I’m going to get away from the speedy zombies from the documentary “28 Days Later”.  I aim to get that percentage as close to 100% as possible.   Zombieland had it right.  For any post-apocalyptic scenario, a high-level of fitness/dexterity is crucial to my continued survival – something that is very personal to me and mine.

A key skill that will help mitigate my inevitable injuries attempting fymptastic parkour maneuvers is the Muscle-up.  Without this skill, I will be falling back down from walls after embarrassingly pinwheeling my legs and body while attempting to throw myself over an obstacle.

My current muscle up status is more WYMP than FYMP, I’m afraid.  I can do 8 pull-ups reverse grip. 6 pull-ups front grip.  It’s been long enough that I know this is going to hurt over the next couple of days.   That’s what my body gets for neglecting my survival skill-set for so long – suck it up body.

While my fitness may not be FYMP just yet, my mind always has been.  Move Matt – do your worst.

FYMP for life!

One Reply to “Training for the apocalypse: Week 0”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *